I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
