just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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