Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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