Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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