I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
