We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
