I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
