Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
