They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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