I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Even my vagina gasped.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize