Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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