I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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