I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
