I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We are all done wearing pants today
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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