he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
