i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
