Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
