Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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