No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
