i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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