I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel