it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.