i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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