Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been