made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Alive.
So much puke
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
