Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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