Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
