I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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