careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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