I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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