Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
