Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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