Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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