So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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