I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't turn off my feet"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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