margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
