it was like eating out sand paper
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
