Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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