So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
