I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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