dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
