That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm both gender and math confused
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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