Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
