I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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