You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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