Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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