I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
