I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize