I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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