i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
