Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
