You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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