So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
