If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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