My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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