My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
