She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
