Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
