If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
