I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i need some magic done to my vagina
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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