Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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