They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Help. Why am I so naked?
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