Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
