giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
