Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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