we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
