My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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