whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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