He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm having to shit out rocks
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