I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
